Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize