As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
