woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
