You just made me feel so damn special
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I didn't notice because vodka
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
