My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
