i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
