So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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