we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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