im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
