In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
