need another drink. this is the easiest way
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I want her autograph on my taint
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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