You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
