Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
