My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Fuck appropriateness.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
