I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
