just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
