I am in a vortex of obligation.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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