I must be too annoying 4 u.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
