where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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