ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
