absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just got carded by a ten year old.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
