Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
