Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
