I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
