Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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