I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
