Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
