I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
