Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my sisters under your porch take her home
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
