As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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