Jerry, you need to find god
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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