We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
