Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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