I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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