Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
