i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
