Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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