So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
