i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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