my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
