Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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