I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
