Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
