Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
