Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
