pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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