I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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