Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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