Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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