i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
